Psychologist's advice: how not to break out on children27.05.2022
Even the most tender and loving mothers sometimes get angry. And how the outburst of emotions occurs depends on the ability to control oneself. Someone screams, others withdraw into themselves and begin to count until they calm down, others are involved in active cleaning, venting their indignation on the dust. Is there a proper way to curb anger so as not to lash out?
First, what doesn’t work. Do not give the word “I will not yell at the child again!”. This is self-deception … You promised, you try to keep your word. And then something happens, and you no longer control your emotions. And if they also promised the child, then it is doubly difficult. After all, the baby will then come up, look into his eyes and say: “Mommy, you promised not to yell at me!” And from these words it will become so hard ….
It’s just about the guilt that worries many mothers. She promised, but did not keep… Psychologist Nina Liventsova sees the solution in the fact that there is no need to make any promises to yourself or anyone else. We need to change our attitude!
Change guilt to responsibility. Guilt devours energy, which is not enough anyway. What’s the point of sprinkling ashes on your head and signing that you are a terrible mother. Recognize your contribution to this situation, and do work on the mistakes, the expert explains .
And to make it easier, the psychologist advises connecting a support group. In the experience of many mothers, it is better that it be someone more stress-resistant than you. For example, husband or girlfriend.
Nina Liventsova advises talking with children:
So tell me, I decided to change my behavior, I will work on myself so as not to yell at you.
Are you ready to start working on yourself and change the destructive feeling of guilt into a sense of responsibility that stimulates you to be better?