Future dads: how to find mutual understanding with his wife after the birth of a child?

Future dads: how to find mutual understanding with his wife after the birth of a child?

24.05.2022 0 By admin

The birth of a child is a time of change. And no matter how you prepare for these changes, no matter how many books you read about fatherhood and listen to the advice of friends and colleagues who have already become fathers, you can’t foresee everything. You will have to adapt and learn to be a parent and husband.

The first months after childbirth are a test even for strong relationships. Mothers and fathers react differently to the changes that the birth of a baby entails. Misunderstandings, resentment and quarrels lead to the separation of spouses and a split in the family at the very time when you both need each other so much.

Read more: The first month after childbirth.

What is important to know about the wife after the birth of a child

She will become more critical of herself : she will often look in the mirror to see how her body has changed. The wife needs to know that you still find her attractive. And, although she herself may think that her body is not what it used to be, you really think otherwise. Let him give himself more time to get in shape if he wants to.

She will expect a lot from you , hoping that the new dad will take responsibility. The good news is you are no longer on the bench. Bad: now it’s up to you to save the game. Get ready for the family car and get used to the fact that you are now a “diaper changing organization” and the space around is a playroom.

She will be more dependent on you : taking responsibility means becoming more trustworthy. This is not the time to be selfish. If there are mountains of unwashed dishes, put on an apron and wash them. And if a ton of dirty things have been waiting for washing for a long time, turn on the machine and wash it. Your wife will appreciate the help.

She needs constant reassurance : physical changes, hormonal fluctuations and lack of sleep for many new mothers lead to self-doubt and their mothering qualities. Support, say that she is still beautiful, what a wonderful mother she is and how you love her and are proud of her. The wife will be grateful for the patience, affection and kindness.

She may have postpartum depression : this is something that is not talked about in friendly conversations. Depression is very difficult to deal with when you have a constantly crying newborn baby in your arms, a mess in the house, and in your head a huge list of tasks that need to be done RIGHT NOW. Finding signs of depression in your spouse, seek help from specialists. Don’t tell her, “You can do it” or “This is the best time of your life.” Just say you love and you will help.

She will stop wanting sex. Nature made sure that the mother concentrated only on the child, and all other instincts slowed down. Constant fatigue, insomnia and dissatisfaction with their appearance do not contribute to the manifestations of sensuality. Treat this moment philosophically: everything will pass, and this too. Be patient. The return of sex after childbirth is real.

You will no longer be the most important thing in her life : as a young mother, your wife has only one goal – that the child is safe and happy. The baby she brought into your life will be the most important person to her. And this is NORMAL. You can be jealous of a baby and at the same time feel guilty, because how can you react like that to a small and defenseless child? Just know that it’s natural, but you can change it. Start building the foundation of a relationship with your baby, spend more time with him apart from his wife. Once you do this, you will lose the reason for jealousy, because the son or daughter will become the center of the universe for you too.